Complaining vs Explaining

There's a fine line between complaining and explaining. It seems that people who have not done much self examination in the 4th step work, usually hear complaining when you're actually explaining something to them.

If we have not done enough inside work to get out of our 'victim' roles, then we are still traumatized by everything and everyone in the past, not to mention the present, with all the little interactions we have relating to people.

It goes along the lines of 'hearing what we want to hear' or 'we process only what is inside of us'.

When I work with others around the program and I see that they're stuck in the victim-itis of their disease, and I explain a situation, they can only hear complaint, because if you're explaining something in depth, they have a hard time processing it as simple story telling or information relayed.

It's similar to when I "explain" the AA program to my chronically alcoholic brother, and all he hears is me "complain" about his drinking.

There's answers locked inside of us, if we search them out. Try doing the 'California 4th Step' which can be found online. It's a workbook that will help you unlock the answers within and then, not only will you "EXPLAIN" more often than "COMPLAIN", you will also hear the difference when someone is just "EXPLAINING" things to you and not attacking you with "COMPLAINTS"!