Get F*cked UP!

Isn't interesting how we say "Let's get f*cked up!" and that's exactly what we're doing?

We are f*cking up our families, our jobs, our health, our finances, our emotional states, our relationships, our lives!

Funny how truthful the truth really is?

So, the next time you say, "I wanna get f*cked up?", think about 'what' you're 'really' saying!

St. Francis Prayer

This prayer is very popular throughout the ages, it is also a well suggested addition to anyone's recovery routine to do morning and evening, as well as the serenity prayer.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

Complaining vs Explaining

There's a fine line between complaining and explaining. It seems that people who have not done much self examination in the 4th step work, usually hear complaining when you're actually explaining something to them.

If we have not done enough inside work to get out of our 'victim' roles, then we are still traumatized by everything and everyone in the past, not to mention the present, with all the little interactions we have relating to people.

It goes along the lines of 'hearing what we want to hear' or 'we process only what is inside of us'.

When I work with others around the program and I see that they're stuck in the victim-itis of their disease, and I explain a situation, they can only hear complaint, because if you're explaining something in depth, they have a hard time processing it as simple story telling or information relayed.

It's similar to when I "explain" the AA program to my chronically alcoholic brother, and all he hears is me "complain" about his drinking.

There's answers locked inside of us, if we search them out. Try doing the 'California 4th Step' which can be found online. It's a workbook that will help you unlock the answers within and then, not only will you "EXPLAIN" more often than "COMPLAIN", you will also hear the difference when someone is just "EXPLAINING" things to you and not attacking you with "COMPLAINTS"!

Al-Anon

If you're having trouble in your relationships, tired of the drama, feeling like you're alone and your needs aren't getting met, feel like a door mat, getting used, walked on, bending over backwards for others, overworked and underpaid, too generous, too giving, can't seem to get your wife or husband to stop drinking, or maybe it's the out of control kids or other family members or friends...?

Maybe you should try going to a few alanon meetings. It's an easy support group that's helped millions who are feeling like yourself if you match the above feelings. There's never any pressure there and you may get a little relief from the chaos in your life by attending a few meetings.

And hey, it's cheaper than a shrink! It's FREE!

Passive Aggressive

Have you ever been passive aggressive? Do you know what that means? Well, it's when you are in a manipulation mode, trying to wrestle something into going your way, and you are extremely nice to get you way, and then, if it's not going your way, you turn extremely mean and attacking.

So, do you behave like this? Many people do in varying degrees and some of it is just plain crazy and wrong. The basis of this behavior, like most if not all of our dysfunctional actions, is FEAR! When we are afraid that we are not getting our way, or that if we don't get our way we'll somehow not be okay, we will wiggle through situations and step on others toes with this passive aggressive behavior.

This is very damaging to relationships with others and if you have any of these behaviors, take a look and see if you need to make some changes and some amends in this area.

We often find that when we change our behavior, others will treat us better and we'll feel more comfortable about things. You see, if we're behaving this way becuase of fear, then we do some damage, and create harm to others, then we are uncomfortable and thus even more afraid and alone. The cycles must break with us. We HAVE to be the changes that we want to see in the world!